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Would you let a friend talk to you the way you do!

My inner dialogue that speaks to me constantly is something that I have worked with a lot over the years.  We all have that inner voice that talks to us, there has been many books written about it, one of the most well known one’s is The Chimp paradox by Steve Peters. Well worth a read if you haven;t read it.   The inner dialogue is also at the heart of most meditations, its also what stops most people from meditating, in fact its what stops people doing a lot the life in general. I would suggest that it evens goes as far as stops people from being happy or not.

I remember when I was growing up and I was about 16, I always thought I was different to anybody else, I didn’t realise that everyone else had this chatter going on in their heads. Because of my low self worth and confidence, my chatter was always pretty derogatory. And like most people, I believed my own thoughts. Fast forward 30 odd years, I’m only just really learning now that they are not real and I don’t have to believe them! How screwed up is that, I’m nearly 50 and I’m just learning now why I’ve behaved the way I have in the past and why it has taken me so long to start creating the life I want. All those times when I was going out getting pissed  trying to chat up a girl because I was too scared to talk to someone when I was sober. The chatting up a girl is just an example but all those times I listened to my thoughts and have stopped myself from doing things and growing as a human. If I listen to my thoughts right now, they are saying that that is really sad so now I’m having a conversation in my head about how sad things are! That is how the mind works, you get a thought and before you know it, your having a conversation or an auguement in your head that goes off on a spiral and nobody really wins!  Plus its normally a pointless conversation.  I do believe that if they concentrated more at school on the mind and meditation then society would be so much better.

I am doing my normal waffling again. The point of this post is if you are like me as I can’t assume everybody has this sort of mind then I have a good exercise for you.
I want you to spend a day, not doing much, so you can just become aware of any thoughts, conversations and daydreaming you become aware of and just observe, If  you can remember them, write them down.
Now imagine, the next day you have a companion, could be a intimate partner, a friend or just somebody you are stuck with for the day. This person thou, only speaks the same way that your thoughts do. Apparently we have about 7 billion thoughts a day.  Just sit in your thoughts for a while and think how long would it be before you’ve either smacked them in the face or kicked them out your house. I don’t believe anyone, no matter how tolerant you are would be able to stick it for too long. Now that is what is happening in your own head every single day! and we just accept it.

I hope you get what I am saying, I have been studying the mind and the unconscious since I was about 16 and I’m still working at things constantly Its not easy to be the master of your mind, it takes practice which I will go into in another blog, I would recommend meditation to start with thou.

Thanks

Matt