Rambling’s about the secret ingredient to happiness

I’ve set myself  a challenge to make sure I write a blog every Sunday. That was last month and already it is proving to be a bit more difficult than I planned. I like writing but most if the time when I write something, it comes from within, as soon as I start to think what I want to write about, there comes the trouble.  Today didn’t get off with a to great a start and  I was going to cheat and copy an older blog that I wrote 5 years ago and post it on this new blog. After reading it, I realised that I have moved on slightly since writing it. I find it so interesting that our truths change. I first heard that concept when I was listening to a Bruce Lee interview and at around 14 years of age I didn’t really get what he meant. Now I often look back in my life and it seems that just in 5 years, my life has changed loads. Since writing that blog I have moved on so much with knowledge, business, and my personal life.

Apart from feeling like I was cheating, it wouldn’t have been right to post a 5-year blog up now as it wouldn’t of been me. It was me then but not now.  

So why do I want to write about service again, it’s probably been spurred on by a few things, one in particular is the pandemic and the differences in peoples attitude.  Another reason is that I have been talking to a few people about life and happiness lately.  You see,  I believe I have found the no 1 ingredient for living a happy life.

The no 1 ingredient to be happy is to give or how most mentors, salespeople like to put it now adays is “to serve others”

I wrote in quite length in an old blog about the catch and that is to expect nothing in return for giving so in this one I shall look at things at a different angle.

During this horrible Corona virus and the lockdown I have witnessed a lot of people helping each other out unselfishly, I have also witnessed a big degree of selfish acts. I suppose that is the yin and yang that we will always have.  I do believe thou that to help other people is more in our DNA than to look after ourselves. I could be totally wrong here as I’m not an expert, these blogs are just my own thoughts and perspective.  People can often talk a lot shit in how they don’t care and looking after no 1 is their main aim,  so often it is the ego talking as when an emergency happens and they have to act, they don’t even think about it, they will just respond to another person in need.

You talk to somebody who is depressed, I have got into trouble before for saying this but depression is a very selfish condition, I believe I have the credentials to talk about this subject. When you have depression, there is no denying that you are probably thinking about yourself, even if its something else that has got you depressed, if someone has died, you could say that I’m depressed as she/he has died but its not them that is depressed, their dead, you would be thinking about your own emotions, not thinking about the person who has died or their families, if you were, you would be thinking how can I help them at this time.  I hope I’m making my point clear and don’t come across as harsh.

I heard somebody say once, an incredibly famous and talented martial artist that he is not a natural nice person, he said something along the lines that he is a bad person trying to be good! Now I’m still not sure what his interpretation was that he meant by it, I should have asked him to explain but when he said it, something struck a chord in me.  Doing things for other people does not come natural for me, maybe it’s because I have suffered with depression all my life and I just think about keeping myself mentally strong all the time. This may be a bit contradictory and a waffling blog, but I also think helping other people does keep me mentally strong as well.  Let me explain.

I never started martial arts to be a leader, I’ve have always been into personal development but I started that because I wanted to become rich, I now know that being rich in life is better than in material terms.  As I was saying about being a leader, I got into martial arts because I had low self-confidence, I was bullied and I loved the low budget martial arts films, oh yeah and Bruce Lee but that’s one for another time. As I got a few black belts and started helping out in classes I then had the opportunity to take on my first  martial art class, once that happened, it wasn’t long before my eyes were open to all the politics with martial art associations and something inside of me wanted to run things my way. Having a full time martial arts center was just a dream back then but one thing led to another and before I knew it, I was pursuing it, I just missed out all the hard work and persistency there by the way.

Being a martial arts teacher is a weird vacation for a job.  To me it’s just a job, or so I thought it was. That until II really took on board, how many people were starting to look up to me and how I was changing lives.  Because my job was my passion, it was not really until people started giving me feedback on how much I did for people, that wasn’t really in the job description. You see in most job descriptions, there is normally a bit at the bottom, saying something along the lines of, “and any other tasks that you may be called upon to do” or something similar. I don’t even have a job description but if I did, it would be just 2 items, No 1: Teach class, No 2:  Everything else that needs doing including anything that you haven’t been taught or are not qualified to do!

Over the last 14 years that I have been teaching and running classes, I have learnt loads, I knew nothing about business and have read nearly every worthwhile business book out there and like I said in my 5 year old blog, there is always something in one about giving service, often freely.  Yes I do get that from a business point of view, that people remember kindness and especially if you have done them a favour, they normally remember and will come back to you and will often refer people to you. Its good business sense.

Take this into your personal life and boom, what a difference it will make. Now I’ve found this out by accident because my life is also my work, so it is all a bit mixed up. But what really gets my goat, especially at this challenging time we are all experiencing, people are still bored!!! Especially teenagers, if only they would put all this extra time into researching how they can help an organisation, charity, or family member.  I remember the conversations I had with my son when he was younger and looking for work, I told him to do some volunteering, you would learn new skills, meet new friends, create more opportunities, stop the long days and boredom, the list is pretty endless. I leave you to imagine the look of horror he gave me when I suggested it. Everything that we do in this life, has a knock-on effect, the more people you help and serve the more opportunities will come your way. The more shit you do, the more crap that will come into your life. Its not rocket science.

I’ve struggled writing this today with trying to be all philosophical and at the same time, having a rant and a moan at just how easy life could be if we really let go of the ego and pull together as a community.

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